Sollicitudo Alter Ego

I tried. I did my best (did i ?) in every single hard time we face. I am so exhausted right now. I worked hard, while you play hard. You enjoy every thing that comes from my effort. I thought you are a man.

17th August. The Independence Day of Indonesia. Merdeka!!!! But my heart is broken and tears keep coming down my face. Independence? What is the real meaning of the word? Are we trully independence now? "We" here refers to the minority communities. Minority in money. Minority in education. Minority in public facilities and services. Minority in races. Minority in religion believes. Are we really independence nowadays, especially now as we celebrate our National Independence Day? I even prefer to use english to pour out my words. I even prefer to post on my blog while hoping this thought would not bring me to harm. Why? Because i am Afraid. Perhaps, because i am not sure. There are riots still happened almost every day in almost every part of the nation. Whom we are independence from? The war with enemies has ended since 70 years ago. However the enemies who we are fighting with now are not from outside of Indonesia. They're our own people. We fight...

Why? Why do i have to stay here for days without any progress? Why should i keep quiet even i witness yhe bad things she did to him? Why all my plans seems falling apart? Why can't i taste any happiness? Probably there are millions of questions which may start with why. Things happen for a reason. Some says. So what are the reasons? When situation's getting harder, most of us will react with "why". Aaargh, why do i even have to write about this. Why do i think that people will read this article?

What is happening to a woman's life once she got married? Living a happily ever after life? Singing joyfully since the sun rises through the days until the evening call?

Just like any other human in the world, I have lots of ideas and plan in my head (or my brain?) waiting for their moment to reveal and become real. I also have thousands of criticism about things surround me, like every single thing that I see/meet everyday. Sometimes I written down those thoughts or critics on some of my social media accounts. It was easier and shorter to write down. However, sometimes after I posted it and read them again I felt unsatisfied. I need to described down all. I love details (so much). I want people who read them will able to understand what I was saying and what I meant. But to write long article or to post something that longer than any social media can afford, needs more than desire to share the stories. It also need time to write and patience. It's not easy to just sit down and typed the words that jumping all around in your brain. That what was happening with me. I got few notes-book-daily journal-diaries. And none of them were fulf...

I used to able to control my emotion and try to divert the anger by posting on Path, Twitter or at least Facebook. At least, typed words are different with real sound or voice of yelling and screaming. As for today, I kinda lost my control (about 15% of it perhaps) and let my anger took control. I was having a stomach-ache and cramps so I asked one day off from work to stay at home, but then my mind couldn't go away from few tasks I which my responsible to take care with. After few calls, some tasks were done and another problems solved. Busy as if I was in the office. By a call and chitchat with the Boss, I should contact a person who honestly I prefer to avoid. I have reasons to avoid him (if I couldn't say I HATE and angry of him). Few amongst all; not polite, (sounds) cocky, (sounds) offensive, (sounds like) he thought he knows everything more than us, at least me. I said "sounds" because my communication with him were only by phone. Maybe I was too soon...

Mati lampu - pemadaman listrik bergilir atau orang manado bilang " Mati Strom", sudah menjadi hal yang (mau tak mau) biasa, di Manado dan sekitarnya. Sudah beberapa bulan terakhir hal ini terjadi. Bisa berjam-jam, tiba-tiba padam lalu tiba-tiba menyala. Perusahaan terkait sudah cukup baik untuk mengumumkan via media baca lokal. Belum lagi, listrik padam gara-gara musim berangin sekarang yang menumbangkan pohon di beberapa lokasi. Efeknya? tentu saja pemadaman lagi. Sudah untung kalau pihak terkait langsung bergerak cepat untuk menangani. Sayangnya, hal itu tergantung dari kepedulian masayarakat sekitar lokasi itu untuk melaporkan kejadian ke PLN, agar dapat ditangani. Hal ini sedikit banyak mirip dengan kejadian di lokasi perumahan tempat saya tinggal. Perumahan yang sudah cukup lama beroperasi ini, bisa dibayangkan betapa carut marutnya instalasi dan jaringan listrik dari rumah ke rumah. Dalam hal ini, saya tidak sedang membahas mengenai sistem kerja sama PLN se...

Water has many words to describe its form. And also to describe people's feeling. It is a "drink", when we need it to fill our thirst. It is a bath water, when we need to wash our body from dirt. Some called it tears. Today, i call it Rain. I love rain. Sometimes. When i am down, rain is a good friend to have a private moment to think. Rain sometimes comes down along with our tears. It was like it knows that my heart was broken. So it comes down to accompany me. So my tears would have friend. =) Rain, could erase a laugh and changed it suddenly to a sad mode from a person. Rain, along with the cold atmosphere would easily and automaticaly turned upside down our world.

For most people, driving a car is an easy thing to do. As long as the driver focus on everything surround them, the car will go smoothly. That's what i thought. Related to a job i accepted, the owner gave an instruction for me to take driving lesson. It is a 15x45mnts courses to take. Today is my 10th course. And i felt super exhausted. I took the course along with a friend of mine who will be working together with me. As we shared everyday and took the same schedule, we learned things we need to major in order to drive a car safely. We found it is far away different from what we thought before. It is not an easy thing to drive a car. Lots of points needed to have our full attention... Gotta go now, it's my turn..

It has been so long days passed by then i may finaly back on my track. I found that writing is my passion and medicine as well. Also as my paper to write on my thoughts for everything i concern about, things and events i witness everyday which happened surround me. It was a rough and tough days i've been through. As rough and tough as other's days of life i believe. There were lots of disappointment, sadness, madness, anger. As well as happiness, laughter and joy. Besides, what our lif3 would be if we never got hurt? =) For my next articles to come, i will share all the thought crosses my mind regarding thr things that happen...

Poem : I believe in miracles I believe in Miracles and dreams that will come true, And I believe in happiness And friendship, through and through I believe that when you cry your tears are not in vain, And when you’re sad and lonely someone knows that you’re in pain. I believe that when we laugh a sparkle starts to shine, And before you know these sparks will spread From more hearts than just mine. I believe the gifts you have are there for you to share And when you give them from the heart, the whole world knows you care. I believe that if you give, even just to one, That gift will grow in magnitude before the day is done. I believe that comfort comes from giving part of me, And if I share with others, there’s more for all so see. I believe that love is still the greatest gift of all, And when it’s given from the heart, Love will conquer all.

This is supposed to be just like the other ordinary night. I’ve been through these moments more than once, but it always feels like the first thing. I am here now, sitting awkwardly while thinking of a person’s life might be in harm. My love one, decided to go with the team to a nowhere place, to search and rescue. And he shared me the news, just few seconds before they were leaving. So sweet. I was waiting for a goodnight call and I received this “announcement” call. The weather went quite bad lately, not so easy to guess what comes next. Is it sunny, warm, rainy or windy?   And to do SAR at night seems like the completion of the task. What could be possibly comes in my head, besides worrying? I know, he realizes all the risk much more than me. He really loves his work, and helping people is the first place in his head. And that is only of many things I proud of him. Maybe I was just too worried. He was leaving with entire team, not only by himself. They got well equipped and ment...

Dwijat Tustiono 31 January at 22:15  What happens if a dog disrupt a concert?   To answer these questions, I witnessed with musical performances on the spring night in Lawrence, Kansas.   Take a seat at Hoch Auditorium and watch the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, the oldest orchestra in the world are displayed throughout the ages.   The composer and leader of the greatest music in history to lead the orchestra.   The orchestra had been there since the era of Beethoven, although some musicians have been replaced. You can see how these European musicians dressed in elegant and took a seat on the stage. You can hear the professional musicians carefully start adjusting the tone on their instrument. Percussion players put his ear to the drums, a violin plucking violis.   Clarinet players adjust the instrument's voice.   then straighten your body a little when the lights dimmed and the players have finished harmonize tones.   The concert will b...

Ku Tulis Sajak Berdasar Kisah Bukan Tentang Kawan Di Tanah Terpisah Melainkan Tentang Kita Yang Dilumta Resah Yang Dalam Negeri Sendiri Terkabut Gelisah Bukan Tentang Sobat Di Tanah Rantau Tapi Tentang Persada Di Atas Risau Yang Karena Janji Tirani Kian Meracau Pertiwi Terjebak, Terpukat Ranjau Ini Cerita Tentang Negeri Kelabu Indahnya Tertutup Bukan Oleh Kotor Abu Namun Oleh Nurani Yang Kehilangan Kalbu Pada Demokrasi Bertudung Kelambu 10-05-09 Written by: Yosephine Publish in Purpose Driven Life...

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be. ONE: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand. TWO: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil. THREE: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make. FOUR: The most important part of you will always be what's inside. AND FIVE: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write. The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart. Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be. ON...

Hari ini, Bangsa Indonesia menghayati suatu hari yang diberi judul: Hari Anti Korupsi Dan, lihat saja-dengar saja, Sejak Matahari berarak ke Langit, telah berkumpul segenap manusia Dengan sepotong kertas atau kain, bertorehkan segala bentuk tulisan, dalam gradasi warna beranekan ragam. Dan dengan siratan makna yang bermacam pula: Memohon, mengingatkan, mendukung, mendorong, menuntut, memaksakan, dan ada yang mungkin mengancam... Ah, Bangsaku, Negeriku, Ibu Pertiwiku, Pahlawan-pahlawanku, Ah Guruku, ah Penciptaku Seperti inikah generasi yang ingin kau ciptakan? Inikah manusia yang kau berikan Akal Budi dan Nurani? Inikah ciptaan-Mu yang termulia, kesayanganMu? Begitu mudah dan nyata mata mereka melihat dan menunjukkan dengan tepat, letak sebutir pasir dalam mata orang lain... Tetapi teramat sangat sulit, mata mereka masing-masig untuk melihat bahkan bayangan saja, Sebongkah Kayu sebesar Gajah, di mata mereka sendiri?? Begitu lancarnya, kritikan, sumpah serapah dan hinaan ...

We are living in a so complete and mixed world What a great creativity of God's mind Just thinking of how He designs a human is just so interesting And we know God grants human the free will of choosing and deciding to do things One point, all free will that we chosen comes with consequences and  result It is one way of Him to educate human of having responsibilities for every single step we take As days are come and passed bye Man are also increase in number and each has their own possession, ambition and goals Only few are having clear sight of what decision are pleased God and which aren't With all the unlikely e have between all citizen of the world It is our right (not obligation, but right ) to choose the correct path As said in the bible, there will be plenty of those who claim that; The Messiah here, He is there, The end of The World is coming, etc.. Dark, so dark There are human who really needs guidance We are the soldier of God, we are the extens...

Since last week, there was a movie i really want to watch... Saw only the thriller, already made me so eager to enjoy the whole story... I had time and chance at that moment, but i decided not to rush in the line for ticket... I thought, this was a great and cool movie, i can wait another days... I still have chance while doing another things... Then, the rumor spread around the nation Some man said behalf on one point of view, that the movie was too bad for the people to watch And they asked to movie to be ban and out from theater Hah... Why? they said, the movie made from some old tribe prophecy about the end day of the world And their people should not watch it to prevent misunderstanding and arguments Well, our Father already told us about the end of the day, about the armageddon We no need to be afraid for the time He is coming back We should even be in great Joy.. Because we desire Him to come again and lift us up with Him No one would ever know, was, present...

Lord, I surrender to you. I put all my trust and believe to You only.