When you call

This is supposed to be just like the other ordinary night. I’ve been through these moments more than once, but it always feels like the first thing.

I am here now, sitting awkwardly while thinking of a person’s life might be in harm.

My love one, decided to go with the team to a nowhere place, to search and rescue. And he shared me the news, just few seconds before they were leaving. So sweet. I was waiting for a goodnight call and I received this “announcement” call.

The weather went quite bad lately, not so easy to guess what comes next. Is it sunny, warm, rainy or windy?  And to do SAR at night seems like the completion of the task. What could be possibly comes in my head, besides worrying? I know, he realizes all the risk much more than me. He really loves his work, and helping people is the first place in his head. And that is only of many things I proud of him.

Maybe I was just too worried. He was leaving with entire team, not only by himself. They got well equipped and mentally prepared. They’ve done this more than once, so I should not think of anything unlucky.

But still, you know. Even a hundred times experiences could have one tiny mistake and the whole perfect plan can turned bad. Every case has its own story, ways and risk.

I couldn’t sleep.  By phone, he only mentioned about doing SAR in a place, will mention later when they are on their way. He promised me to call when they have finished the SAR. And when it will be? Will I be able to wait calmly?

I really have no idea at all about who/what they are going to search? Where is the place? And when will he comes back?

This feeling, it is not so easy to push away…

It’s too long. Why there is no call? No news? What is going on? Is the place so far away? Is the one who they searched for, was missing too far to search? Or is something “not good” happened?

I can’t. I just can’t make myself calm.

Praying, hoping things will going well.

Tik-tok clicking, my eyes straight to TV but nothing I understand. Oh, please give me a message…no, pleas e not the bad one. Please… please tell me where you are now, and are you okay…

My dear love……

Ah, the cell phone ringing. That was your private tone. I hope it was you.

Thank God, you were not only finish the task; even you’re already arrived at the office “in one piece”. Go dear, take a deep rest, you need it to recharge your energy.

Ah, so relieve to hear your voice.

Just listening to you, shared me the story of your journey makes me feel like I was there, and accompanied you in your journey. Searching and rescuing those who needed help. How I love the tone in your voice. You were so excited yet sounded exhausted.

I could feel the sadness in your heart, when you were saying that the one, who you all searched for, couldn’t make it. Calm down, my love. I believe that you were doing the very best of you. You already eased the pain in the family, by finding their loved one before the nature keeps them first.

Go rest dear, I will sit here and enjoying the look of your sleeping face. I enjoyed looking at your chest, up and down breathing, feels like mine is beating and breathing the same way with yours.

I am very proud of you my love, risking your own life to rescue others. I can only cover you with pray and love. I will be just here, waiting for you to come home from everywhere you go.

Sleep my love; let me ease the burden you keep. And when you open your eyes, the sun will shine brightly just like your eye tone.

Dear God, thank You so much for guided him and accompanied him everywhere. You watched his steps even before he thought he would walk. Thank You for guided him coming home….

Good night love… tomorrow will be better than today…