When Anger Overruled
I used to able to control my emotion and try to divert the anger by posting on Path, Twitter or at least Facebook. At least, typed words are different with real sound or voice of yelling and screaming.
As for today, I kinda lost my control (about 15% of it perhaps) and let my anger took control.
I was having a stomach-ache and cramps so I asked one day off from work to stay at home, but then my mind couldn't go away from few tasks I which my responsible to take care with.
After few calls, some tasks were done and another problems solved. Busy as if I was in the office.
By a call and chitchat with the Boss, I should contact a person who honestly I prefer to avoid.
I have reasons to avoid him (if I couldn't say I HATE and angry of him).
Few amongst all; not polite, (sounds) cocky, (sounds) offensive, (sounds like) he thought he knows everything more than us, at least me. I said "sounds" because my communication with him were only by phone. Maybe I was too soon to judge a person only by speaking with him. Beside, if The Boss hired him, then there is something The Boss sees in him and decided to give him a try. As well as he asked me to join.
Well, to write this all down, few hours after my "explosion" helps me to review my words and my anger.
Let me give you the short story.
I am working at a Freight Forwarding company based in my home town - Manado -, it has another offices in Jakarta and Surabaya.
We need to build communication between all 3 offices to deliver our messages and notes about shipping. Either it is a question for prices, ship's schedule, trucking price list, etc.
Since all of us were just connected by phone and never meet in person, then good communication of course needed. To build relationship, partnership and coordination. All to make sure we are giving the best services to our customers.
This one particular staff (the one I described above) were the only person who raised our anger. Not only me, but also my 2 colleagues here in Manado and staff at Jakarta office. Since I am not the only one who got mad at him, so I guess this person who has issues/problems.
Mostly, caused by his attitude when we communicated by phone. The way he addresses us who are all older than him, the way he asked, answered and explained subjects on us and the way of him handles the works or responsible he's having.
Honestly, I already got lots of problems caused by him neglected few subjects that are important points in our job.
Actually, I put him on my phone-blacklist. So every time he calls will directly rejected. So I don't have to get older sooner just because of yelling at him every single time he calls.
As for today, he really ignited my anger and "hello, welcome to my anger management offence mechanism"
I talked to him in quite high note, some words about "respecting people who older than you", few sentences about "looks like your education was lower than my grade", a couple of doze of "I am sure your working experiences were less-less-lesser than mine", and statement like "you might get used to mess around with other people, but NEVER TRY ONE ON ME!!!", and my repeated reminder about " I am working for The Boss, not you. and you are not the boss. Keep that in your mind forever as long as you breathe"
Did I regret it?
Well, perhaps I feel a little bit of sorry for my rudeness and harsh words. I didn't know him well enough to judge and treated him like that.
However, I still believe that things are not happened by coincidence. It happened for a reason.
Maybe to "knocked" his head and awareness a little. Or maybe, to give myself a lesson of how worthy is patient and compassionate.
My colleague used to tease me that I am the passive type of person when facing an argumentation or always using calm words and calm attitude to avoid unnecessary clash.
Looks like I turned to a totally different person.
My lesson learned today;
1. Having a great grade in school is not a big deal when you are working in real life. People measured you not by your grades, but your attitude and well behave.
2. Building a good relationship in business is important, but it is the same important to have a good relationship with your colleagues. Because your work impacting theirs, as well as the result of their work impacting yours.
3. Being smart is a good point, but it will become useless when you behave arrogant.
4. Never ever messing around with other people projects. Especially when you are working with other people in different places/offices. Reminding about few important points is a good point of view. However, deliver your "reminding" in a good way such as; polite speaking and at the right time. You might know about few things but it doesn't mean that you are the only one who knows it.
5. Never ever act like a cocky kind of person when your work makes other people works fail or crash. It only shows them how terrible your work are.
6. However, most of all. No body is perfect. All those lesson learned points also coming back at me to remind that I could be that type of person if I couldn't keep my mind and behaviour.
Maybe someday (many many many days later) I will able to ask forgiveness or to meet him in person (and slap him,,,hahahaha) and find that he is a very nice person.
As for today, I kinda lost my control (about 15% of it perhaps) and let my anger took control.
I was having a stomach-ache and cramps so I asked one day off from work to stay at home, but then my mind couldn't go away from few tasks I which my responsible to take care with.
After few calls, some tasks were done and another problems solved. Busy as if I was in the office.
By a call and chitchat with the Boss, I should contact a person who honestly I prefer to avoid.
I have reasons to avoid him (if I couldn't say I HATE and angry of him).
Few amongst all; not polite, (sounds) cocky, (sounds) offensive, (sounds like) he thought he knows everything more than us, at least me. I said "sounds" because my communication with him were only by phone. Maybe I was too soon to judge a person only by speaking with him. Beside, if The Boss hired him, then there is something The Boss sees in him and decided to give him a try. As well as he asked me to join.
Well, to write this all down, few hours after my "explosion" helps me to review my words and my anger.
Let me give you the short story.
I am working at a Freight Forwarding company based in my home town - Manado -, it has another offices in Jakarta and Surabaya.
We need to build communication between all 3 offices to deliver our messages and notes about shipping. Either it is a question for prices, ship's schedule, trucking price list, etc.
Since all of us were just connected by phone and never meet in person, then good communication of course needed. To build relationship, partnership and coordination. All to make sure we are giving the best services to our customers.
This one particular staff (the one I described above) were the only person who raised our anger. Not only me, but also my 2 colleagues here in Manado and staff at Jakarta office. Since I am not the only one who got mad at him, so I guess this person who has issues/problems.
Mostly, caused by his attitude when we communicated by phone. The way he addresses us who are all older than him, the way he asked, answered and explained subjects on us and the way of him handles the works or responsible he's having.
Honestly, I already got lots of problems caused by him neglected few subjects that are important points in our job.
Actually, I put him on my phone-blacklist. So every time he calls will directly rejected. So I don't have to get older sooner just because of yelling at him every single time he calls.
As for today, he really ignited my anger and "hello, welcome to my anger management offence mechanism"
I talked to him in quite high note, some words about "respecting people who older than you", few sentences about "looks like your education was lower than my grade", a couple of doze of "I am sure your working experiences were less-less-lesser than mine", and statement like "you might get used to mess around with other people, but NEVER TRY ONE ON ME!!!", and my repeated reminder about " I am working for The Boss, not you. and you are not the boss. Keep that in your mind forever as long as you breathe"
Did I regret it?
Well, perhaps I feel a little bit of sorry for my rudeness and harsh words. I didn't know him well enough to judge and treated him like that.
However, I still believe that things are not happened by coincidence. It happened for a reason.
Maybe to "knocked" his head and awareness a little. Or maybe, to give myself a lesson of how worthy is patient and compassionate.
My colleague used to tease me that I am the passive type of person when facing an argumentation or always using calm words and calm attitude to avoid unnecessary clash.
Looks like I turned to a totally different person.
My lesson learned today;
1. Having a great grade in school is not a big deal when you are working in real life. People measured you not by your grades, but your attitude and well behave.
2. Building a good relationship in business is important, but it is the same important to have a good relationship with your colleagues. Because your work impacting theirs, as well as the result of their work impacting yours.
3. Being smart is a good point, but it will become useless when you behave arrogant.
4. Never ever messing around with other people projects. Especially when you are working with other people in different places/offices. Reminding about few important points is a good point of view. However, deliver your "reminding" in a good way such as; polite speaking and at the right time. You might know about few things but it doesn't mean that you are the only one who knows it.
5. Never ever act like a cocky kind of person when your work makes other people works fail or crash. It only shows them how terrible your work are.
6. However, most of all. No body is perfect. All those lesson learned points also coming back at me to remind that I could be that type of person if I couldn't keep my mind and behaviour.
Maybe someday (many many many days later) I will able to ask forgiveness or to meet him in person (and slap him,,,hahahaha) and find that he is a very nice person.
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